Moments

"A thousand times I've failed, still your mercy remains..." -Inside Out, Hillsong
As I'm driving late at night with hardly anyone on the roads, it's the perfect time for worship for me.  I can be alone with God and get lost in his love.  I feel the chills and warmth, almost as if He is resting his hand on my shoulder.  It's the moment when I realize He has total control over my life.  I feel embraced while listening to one of my favorite songs, "Inside Out" By Hillsong plays next on my iPod.  It's a beautiful moment.  I capture these moments every so often, not as often as I should.  But when I do catch them, it feels so genuine. I arrive at my destintion and put the car in park.  It's cold tonight. 32 degrees reads on my dashboard and snow falls so slowly and quietly.  The snowflakes are large, but spread out.  It's like a scene from a movie.  I want to stay and finish the song that's playing, but truely I don't want this moment to end.  As I am taking it all in, I observe more of the snowflakes that are falling on my windshield.  I wonder if we are like them in Christ. 
 Are we just snowflakes falling slowly into our destinations in life?  Will the destination be a life with Jesus Christ and stay for awhile in a pile of snow? Or will it just disappear in the darkness and melt away on the hood of my car?
I am craving for a life with Him. 
An old friend of mine and I had a conversation when I got back from Florida this summer about how hungry we were for Him, but didn't know where we would fit in.  It was easy to be hungry this summer because I was surrounded by so many others who were dedicated to Him.  I am sad to say that I haven't kept this craving that I had.  Maybe its because of my enviornment.  Which isn't negative, but definetly not the same as the one at Life Church.  It comes and goes.  That's not how I want to live my life.
We all need to be commited just like He is for us.  We need to do the same. 

1 Chronicles 16:34Give thanks to God—he is good and his love never quits. Say, "Save us, Savior God, round us up and get us out of these godless places, So we can give thanks to your holy Name, and bask in your life of praise." Blessed be God, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Then everybody said, "Yes! Amen!" and "Praise God!"

His mercy and grace never leaves us, so we shall never leave Him. 

comfortable

Sitting here, candles lit, glass of wine, soft music playing, I definitely feel a like girl. Recently, I've realized so much about myself. And it feels so right.

For the very first time in my life (which is hard to admit) I feel completely comfortable in my own skin. This is something new, because I have always been comfortable in relationships, but that isn't what it should feel like. I, myself, need to be happy with who I am...before being with anyone else. That goes for anybody out there! How can you love someone else when you don't love who you are?

I have established my personality. I'm going to wear what I want, when I want.  Not worried about what people think.  My clothes/looks don't define me. I'm beautiful, just like an woman out there. And I will not be objectified.  I am who I am and I'll find someone that loves me just for that...when the times right.

My life is not to waste. After all, The Good Lord only gave me one on this earth.  I know this might seem cheesy to some, but I believe at some point in our lives, we all hit this point.  I've come to realize that I need to enjoy myself more.  I'm not conceded, I am just confident in myself now.  


Tonight was a marking point for me.  Discussing love, life and ourselves, my friend Sarah and I enjoyed a night in the Short North.  I have so much motivation to try everything I can now.  Sarah is an inspiration to me and I can't thank her enough for showing me what life is really about.  She's been everywhere.  Her next trip is to South America for 3 months. I wish I had her guts.  Maybe I'm not ready to move out of the country for 3 months, but I gotta start somewhere.  I have experienced love, heartbreak, and.....well that's about it! I'm not opposed to love.  But I'm not going to worry about where it is. It'll drop right in my lap when it's ready to.  But for now, it's ME time! 

I wanna run. I wanna get out of here. It's not that I don't love my friends and family, but I need me all to myself. Since I can't leave just yet...I'll do the best I can with new things. 

Funny, how I'm closing this post, spotify plays Miranda Lambert's "Look at Miss Ohio".  Summing it up perfectly.  

Crazy, BUSY, Cool

It's the middle of fall people! Can you believe it!? This year has flown by!  I feel as if New Years was yesterday.  I think I can for the first time, remember absolutley everything that happened from then until now.  What great memories! What great changes!

It's cold now.  Which is a nice change from my hot summer in Fort Myers.  I don't LOVE the cold, but I appreciate cooler weather just for the sweaters! I have missed them alot. 

I'm all over the place this semester (still weird to say), but I think it's good for me.  Even though it's stressful at times, one of my weaknesses is time managment, but that's improving alot! Here's just some of what's on my plate this semester.

• 15 credit hours
• Comm-Ment Mentor
• Anchor for WOCC
• Helping with Outside Productions
• Marketing and Promotions with WOCC
• Job at Justice
• Applying for internships/Job Searching
• Senior Year Experience Project
• Nannying kids twice a week

It's been a little crazy but I want to add more! 

 My professors have been amazing, especially Ms. Nancy Paul, who teaches my interviewing class. Never realized how much there was behind interviewing. 
 I've had the best support from my advisor, Dr. Demas and our engineer Steve Rossman. 
My Mom and Dad haven't pushed me to do anything I don't want to do, but are behind me every step of the way. My friends, or should I say my second family at the communication building, are amazing.  It's been great to encourage each other and spend time together in and outside of the department.   Like I mentioned in my last post, I have never been so motivated in my life.  The Good Lord is doing great things. I'm excited to see where I'm going to be next year. I'm just grateful that I have figured out what direction I want to go when I graduate.  That was one of my goals for the year and I can already check that off my list. 

Part of my Comm Family

Best Friend Kahla

some other family members

Other Goals

• Stop biting nails
• Establish a polished resume and cover letter
• Gain an internship
• Start workouts

If anyone has any tips for these, please let me know! They are greatly appreciated!

Changing seasons...and life.

Well it's becoming evident that The Good Lord is really in control of my life right now.  I would have never planned for the last 2 weeks to have gone the way the did.  The weather is getting cooler and fall is setting here in Ohio (of course with the occassional "hot" day).   It's a feeling which I have missed.  Football games, warm colors, hot chocolate and jackets.  But my favorite season is bringing me a different reality this year. 

It's hitting me hard that I'm a senior in College and unlike High School, I won't be going back to more schooling (at least not next year).  I'm going to have to enter the working world. 
FULL TIME. 
I'm excited for it, but preparing myself for it is the challenge. Balancing the transition while trying to do well this year is so overwhelming. 

I have a song that is summing up my feelings about this.  It's funny how music can speak to you. They are expressive to how you are feeling at that moment and can sometimes provide a solution. 

"So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young, So I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun"
-"Stop This Train"-John Mayer

I wish some things were different sometimes.  We all do. But thats life. That's the story that The Lord has written for us.  We need to understand that.  There are things we can alter, but if we do our best at something and it doesn't turn out the way we want, then accept that maybe it's not supposed to happen.  And it's going to be hard. It's always difficult when you desire something so bad, you plan as best you can to contain it, but you're going to be fine.  I'm going to be fine.  Live the life He would want.  Never forget what the most important things are in life.  Everything will come together in His plan for you.  Just like I said in my last post, Jeremiah 29:11.  

I want to close out with the lyrics from "Stop This Train" that provided a solution for me.

"See once in a while when it's good, It'll feel like it should...
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing...until you cry when you're driving away in the dark"

Summer Wrapup

I didn't really do as good of a job keeping up with my blog as I thought I would this summer. But here's a little wrap up of it. 

It was a wonderful last couple of weeks... had some great experiences of spreading the word at WRXY, building realtionships and preparing myself for what is to come my last year of college.  It's overwhelming, but I think I am ready to take it head on.  Like I had said, I never thought that my faith would grow along with my knowledge and experience.  It's amazing to think about how far I have come.

I have more motivation this year then I ever had! Who knows if I will acomplish all of it, but I am ready to try for it.
 
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This year is all about the verse. Getting me ready for the real world.  I am so nervous, but I must put all my faith in Him.

Here's a little video I put together over the summer. Enjoy!

Update in July

My internship at WRXY is going well. I am really enjoying the people I work with and learning new things. It's making me anxious to get back to Otterbein to help apply some of the things to WOCC. Not only am I learning the techinical side, I am learning more about my faith.  It's something I didn't expect to include this summer, but it's a comforting feeling. 

Also have been enjoying meeting new people here in SW Florida.  Sad to say goodbye to some friends.  Daniel's cousin, Jarred and his wife Jacey are the first couple we really got to hang out with.  They have been so welcoming to me, even when I wasn't dating Daniel yet and we met in Westerville 2 years ago.  Jarred just got accepted into FSU in Tallahassee.  Got to enjoy their going away party which was a dessert party! Loved the fondue and cream puffs, maybe a little too much. 

Jarred and Jacey Duke

One of Daniel's best friends, Bobby.

Independence Weekend

A nice long five day weekend was just what I was needing. Alot of relaxation was really nice. Friday was spent looking at some cars with Daniel. He is in desperate need of one. Went to a Hydunai dealer to check out the Sonata, Elantra and Accent.  Both us really liked the Elantra. The new ones have a sleeker design and come with alot of features in the standard model. No decisions made just yet. After we ended up back at Mr and Mrs Lynch's for Donna Lee, Daniel's Aunt, Surprise Birthday party. Very fun seeing everyone together with good food. After cake, Daniel and I met up with Jarred, Jacey, Ellen and Jason Duke downtown at Art Walk.  Nice to see them and meet some new people.

Saturday got to sleep in a little and then hung out at the house with Daniel watching movies on TV. Then it was off to Mirmar Outlets to shop.  Got a LUCKY jacket for $15! :) Daniel got one for $10. Good deals since its the end of the summer.  Caught up with some of Daniel's friends Wes and Angela Bell and his brother KJ at Cheeseburger in Paradise. A big UFC fight was on so we ate and watched it. 

Went to church on Sunday, followed by a 4th of July picnic.  So much good food!! Spent most of the day there and went to the Stouder's on the beach later.  A bad storm delayed our swimming in the pool, but we did.  Daniel and I took on Sas and Nate in a football game in the pool. We came out CHAMPS!! Had a nice dinner with the Stouder family then called it a night.

Had ANOTHER day of sleeping in and hanging out the house.  Daniel and I met some friends at The Bell's.  PLayed a game of FARKLE (dice game) then headed out to Punta Rassa.  Went to a little get together.  Ate some good food, played more FARKLE and stayed to watch the fireworks. Saw them across the water on Sanibel Island.

Our view. The fireworks were bigger in person.

Tired literally 5 times to get a good picture. Daniel's eyes were closed every single one.

Beach Weekend

After a week trying to adjust my wake up time, it was nice to spend a little more relaxation time.  Daniel's mother, Donna, was offered a place to stay when her friends were going out of town. The house was on the  bay and just across the street from the beach. They had a pool to swim in along with the easy beach access.  Spent Friday after my internship there.  Daniel's extended family came out and we went to the beach. Noah (Daniel's little cousin) tried to surf a little, well rode on the board. After watching the sun go down, had dinner at the house.  Hot dogs, burgers, beans and corn.  Spent time laughing and watching some TV then bed time.

Chad and Krissy helping Noah surf

Krissy and Noah

always love those

Next day was a whole lot of relaxing! Woke up to some donuts that Mrs Lynch had gotten for us, then it was time to get into the bathing suit.  Had a nice walk on the beach with Mrs Lynch and her friend Alicia while the guys got tried to wake up a little. Then it was back to hang out by the pool.  After laying out, many "cannonballs" and "can openers"  later, Daniel and I decided to go to dinner on our own to Grimaldi's, a pizza place in Bell Tower.  We actually agreed on toppings too! :)  Tried to beat the rain for some ice cream back on the beach, but couldn't.  Hung out at the house until bedtime.

Being silly

Sunday, I had to wake up early to be at JUSTICE at 6:30am for Floorset which was hard to do. But I made it.  Worked until 10:30am then back to the house to sleep a little.  Woke up in the afternoon to more people.  Matt, Jess and Jackson Lynch came to hang out and swim.  Had a good time battling each other in the pool and kickin' the boys' butts in volleyball.   It was a bummer that there was not a lot of sun, but it didn't stop anyone from jumping in. After swimming, Matt, Jess and Jackson left and we ate dinner and I skyped my Mom for a bit. Shared with her one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.

View from the back porch.

Watched Marley and Me with Mr and Mrs Lynch then headed home.  Watching that movie didn't help with my homesick, but it's a good movie. Missing my family and dogs very much.

Forgiveness is Required

I wanted to share what was discussed last night at a bible study headed by Mr. & Mrs. Lynch.  It was just what I needed.  We landed on one that was dear to my heart.

It's been a rough spring for me this year with me and my faith. I was done wrong by some people in the church.  I had a passion and calling for something but was it was quickly taken away from me for the wrong reasons.  Battling my feelings about how I was treated, I wanted to lash out in anger, but I felt the power of God to do something different with this situation, to not act how I would normally.  It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  Keep my mouth shut when someone did me wrong.  So how come it is so hard to turn and present your other cheek when you were just slapped on the other one? Why is it so hard to say your actions/words don't bother me because I know what the Lord has in store for me is good? I waited and waited for things to get better. I expected an apology...which was completely wrong.  You cannot expect for that because it may never come. Realizing that it was ok if the apology never came was the hardest part for me and still is.  Forgiving the person that did you wrong is what we are asked to do. After all, didn't the Lord forgive us for our sins!?!  You will not find peace in yourself unless you forgive that person. DO NOT EXPECT FOR THEM TO APOLOGIZE! You need to do it for yourself and the Lord. Trust me, you will feel much better when do.

Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

So far...So good

So since I started my blog a little late, I wanted to include some of what I have done outside my internship. 

Music Walk in Downtown Ft Myers

Downtown is beautiful! Props to Renee for the photos. Nice to meet some new people!

Silly

Caught by the Paparazzi ;)

.

Before Music we spent the day at Jacey Duke's pool. Nice to play in the sun & water with our favorite newlyweds.

Something Different

I can't believe I finally left Ohio.  Of course I have been on plenty vacations, but never for 2 months.  It's a weird transition being 1300 miles away from your home for that long.  And of course it's NOT a vacation for me.  I am currently in Fort Myers, Florida for a summer internship with WRXY CTN (Christian Television Network).  I am ready to finally experience what it is like to be away from home and have somewhat of a "real" job. Well without the pay that is.  I just recently found out I will be working part-time at JUSTICE -Just for girls for the time being to bring in a little income.  Hopefully I will find time to actually enjoy the beautiful parts of Florida before my time is up in August.  In the mean time, I wanted to start this blog to help fill in all my family and friends on what I am doing since I don't have time to call everyone! :( But I love you all and hopefully you can feel like you are apart of my adventure! 


So I will start with telling you about the first day of my internship! Woke up at 7am to get ready for the day (earliest I have all summer).  Had to be at the station at 9am but it is on the outskirts of Punta Gorda which was about a 20 - 25 minute drive from where I am staying.  The drive on Route 31 seems like the drive if you were on Route 3 going North past Kroger in Sunbury. Very flat and farmlands.  Its an easy drive though.  At the station I was introduced to everyone by GiGi who runs the front desk and a little run through of the station again.  WRXY was hosting a day camp for high school and middle school students this week so I was thrown into the mix of them today. There were only 4 other students though, so I didn't mind. There isn't much production this week due to the day camp. But the good thing is they, well I guess we, are going to create and produce a 30 minute show to run on WRXY.  They came up with the topic of Cyber Bullying, which we will talk about what it is, how you know if you are a victim and ways of preventing.  It seems like a great project for us to do and keep busy with.  The equipment is fairly easy to learn now that I have experience in it.  Just need to learn more about the editing software.  Oh and I forgot to mention! The kids volunteered me to run the discussion! So I will be on TV shortly down here. I will send the link to watch and what times it will be running for anyone who is interested later.  


       That about wraps it up for the day. Tomorrow goes another day of preparing for the production.  Afterwards I will be picking up my good friends Shelia and Braden Bell from the airport to drive them to  Port Charlotte, so the bed is calling for me right now.  Goodnight friends. More to come.